Love is What Makes Me - Subaru

My darling Subie. 

Always ready to play. She has always had very high toy drive and such an imagination! She comes up with her own little games with dog toys, strange foods and a favorite - bottle caps. Subaru is my little workaholic for toys and play. She is amazing at disc and I wish we had competitions or a club near us because I know she would do great. She catches frisbees with great precision, rarely missing even one of my worst throws. Afterwards she loves to cool off by laying down in some water like a little stockdog in the stock tank. She loves an empty jug to chase and carry around the yard, growling and putting on a show. 

Always intense! Ready to go, work, full of drive, enthusiasm and energy. She never quits. Her displacement is expressed by going harder. As a pup, she would begin to bite so hard, sometimes drawing blood, so that was my cue to cut her off before she reached that level. She's been on livestock several times and she is very keen and showed good signs. She's a heelwork extraordinaire. She's very sensitive and soft, but has her tough and resilient moments. She defaults to training in a serious way and almost never needs any reminding.

She's a wonderful puppy nanny. She is tender, gentle and sweet, giving them endless patience. I have never seen her become overwhelmed or impatient with a puppy. She has the best of times playing with them, kissing them, laying on her back to let them maul her. She really has a knack for it and it's one of my favorite things about her. 

Now while all of this sounds so good and it is, she also has some negative traits which have been challenging. 

Subaru is a reactive dog. While this is not at all uncommon for the breed, Subaru's reactivity presented aggressively. She used to be very forward when seeing dogs although through my training, we have overcome this 99%. She has also tested the pack hierarchy here at home more than once. I do not run a "dog park" at my home and things are always structured and well supervised, not leaving much room for error, but she even most recently fought Lapis, which is unheard of. Lapis is an extremely passive dog who has never been in an altercation otherwise and tried hard to get out of the one she and Subaru had, but Subaru persisted after her even as she tried to escape. 

Subaru lacks an off switch. She is very on the go and hasn't been the type to settle naturally. She's learned an off switch through training. She is better when she's out of the crate but crate time is a fact of life here because I don't have just my dogs. I have client dogs, I have people coming for lessons, I have lessons to leave to attend and that all requires my personal dogs to have a fair amount of crate time. Subaru doesn't thrive on this. She destroys her coat by chewing her fur off her whole body in excess. I know she's not in a good state of mind when she's doing that.

She is very sensitive to corrections, even if they are not directed at her. This makes it challenging for her to be out when any clients or young dogs are also out. As an example, we'll be doing placework with dogs who are newer to the concept and they break and are sent back. While this is not a dramatic event, no yelling, no harshness, Subaru takes it hard and thinks that any dog being corrected must mean she is at fault. She gets a wide eyed worried look on her face, ears pinned back, head low and struggles to recover.

All of these things have been my experience with Subaru in my situation. Over the summer, she went and stayed with my best friend while we had their dog here for training and many of these issues were not present when Subaru could have endless 1 on 1 in a far less busy environment. Due to these things and some personal reasons with her breeder, I have decided Subaru will not be a part of my breeding program. I have had a feeling for a long time that this would be the case but I try to wait and let dogs mature before making any serious calls because adolescence looks bad on MOST dogs. And she could still very well grow into a perfect dog at a later age but I still wouldn't feel right about producing puppies from her. I wouldn't want to put other dog owners into the shoes I've been in with Subaru; the confusion, frustration, helplessness, stress. I have worried myself to death about her issues, am I doing enough, what can I do better, and that's not a comfortable place to be. 

While this has been one of the hardest choices I've had to make in a long time, I want Subaru to have the best life she can. I want her to be her happiest self. I know she has not suffered with me but she isn't thriving to the fullest extent. We have found that she can be happier with someone who has more time to dedicate to her, with fewer dogs, more access to sports. Although my heart says I should just keep her, I know that is selfish and I should not hold her back. It breaks my heart and I've cried several times writing this and far more before I even had the words. 

Subaru is going to be living with our dear friends and clients, Ashley and Jeff. They own another dog who came to us for a board and train and during the pick up days, they fell so in love with Subaru that we approached the topic, discussed it and decided to give it a try. They wanted a dog to do herding, agility, disc, dock diving, and Subaru deserves to get to do those things and enjoy being the center of attention. We have entered this tentatively because there's always a chance it won't work out and maybe Holly won't accept Subaru or maybe Subie won't adjust to the household. But Subaru spent the summer with them and during that time, her fur has grown back 90%. She's been going everywhere with Ash. She even started unexpectedly alerting to some medical things for Ash, which was not the goal but with the training I have put into her she's fallen into the role of a service dog with grace. Her brilliance and all of the work I have put into her is really shining in their hands and Subaru is happy. 

I would not have let her go to just anyone and I never planned to let her go at all. She's easily one of my most highly trained dogs that I've put so much into. But this situation has been so perfectly aligned and I'll still get to see Sube often, living her best life. As with any dog who comes from me, she always has a home here and endless support, even though she wasn't a dog I brought into the world. She was MY dog. And in some ways, that's even more special.

​My perfect teenager. Vintage has been such an awesome dog to raise and love and train. She's the picture of stability, drive, and just about everything I think the breed should be.

Despite being a teenager and all the typical struggle and qualms that generally comes along with, Vintage has been an exceptionally easy dog for me. A healthy relationship and good strong training can eradicate so many of those "teenage issues." I'm sure it also helps that she was born and raised here! Audacity, my other bred by, has also been very easy to raise.

Vintage doesn't know a thousand tricks yet but she does have a 100% reliable recall under any distraction, a perfect stay with full stimulus control, impeccable loose leash skills no matter who's on the other end of the leash, she has work ethic for days, toy drive and willingness to engage with me despite the world around us, lovely dog social skills, impressive body awareness, and a deep affection for every human she meets. She's my perfect girl and I am so happy she's mine! I really don't think I'd change one single thing about her. It makes me sad that we probably won't get anymore Abbie babies but I'm so glad to have some dogs out of her to carry on her legacy. Vintage here in my own home, Penny as my darling co-own who I have the pleasure of spending lots of time with, Retro as another very hopeful up and coming co-own, and a couple Vintage sisters that I can take pups back from later if they're bred. There's even a slight chance of puppies off Abigail's first daughter, from her first litter, who wasn't purchased as a breeding prospect but has passed all of her health testing with flying colors and is a great dog. I've shared about her some before, her name is Sage and she's from the Spices litter.

All of our eldest dogs fill such important spots in our day to day lives, pack dynamics, and even in our careers and business. But it's so inspiring to see our young dogs stepping into their roles, finding their dignity and becoming such special pieces of our lives! Even though not every dog stays here forever, they all get the same respect, countless hours of work, and endless love.

This has been a long and grueling few days. On Saturday, the puppies became ill. Lace in particular was losing weight fast; she was refusing to nurse and her vitals weren't looking good. I took a leap and started tube feeding her, something I had never done and I'm very glad I did. I was able to stabilize her and now today she is finally gaining some weight. In that time, the rest of the litter is also having symptoms but none have had it as bad as she did. A few others have lost weight so I've done some feedings on them as well. Some have continued to gain the whole time. I've been treating them with herbal remedies, prebiotics, probiotics, healthy gut microorganisms, liver water. I've dosed them for Coccidia twice now and I'll do a third tomorrow. Today I treated them for Giardia and started them on Pyrantel, which I'll continue for three days. I have been cleaning nonstop to keep their area and the rest of my home sanitized, the laundry never ends, and they've needed several baths. Calypso is also being treated with all the same things as the puppies. She's been symptomatic but not nearly as under the weather as the babies, although you can tell she's not feeling 100%.

It's extremely taxing emotionally and physically. I am running on very little sleep and I am so worried for my pups. I'm dedicated to making sure they come out of this so I will keep at it as long as I need to. It is heartbreaking, gut wrenching work. I pour my entire heart and soul into my pups and my dogs. Even through all of this, I've been able to do water therapy today with Audacity and take Lapis, Abigail and Vintage for a good long walk.

I am so thankful to have Connor, my little brother who lives with us, as he has been my constant direct help. Forever grateful to Daniel who continues working tirelessly to feed us all and care for all the other dogs as well as our clients. And grateful to all of you for your kind words, thoughts and support! It doesn't go unnoticed.

And to think, people call breeding dogs easy...